We’re all familiar with the Kia hamsters, yes? I imagine we are. The ad campaign has been around for the better part of a decade now, believe it or not. There was the commercial where cool hamsters point at cars while Black Sheep’s “The Choice Is Yours” plays. There was the commercial where three of the hamsters apparently became very famous and emerged from a car in formal attire to riotous screams from fans lining a red carpet. There was the commercial where they ended a violent robot war through the power of choreographed dance. They’ve all lived incredibly rich lives. I assume. I’m not sure what kind of life is expected from giant dancing hamsters who can drive cars. Maybe this stuff is all like a B/B+ for them. I could easily discuss this for an hour.
But I won’t because we have more specific business to get to. Like, for example, the most recent commercial in the campaign, which a) features a speedy baby hamster escaping a hospital, and b) you are also all probably familiar with because it is on television 100 times a week and the extended version has over two million views on YouTube.
Oh, did you not know there is a full extended version of the car commercial about a baby hamster escaping a hospital by leaping off the roof? Oh buddy. Oh, there is. And it is a lot.
Watching it a few dozen times, either passively on television or actively online like an extremely normal person, leads to a handful of… oh, let’s call them “very reasonable” questions. I think you’ll see what I mean.