Kill Me Now.

Pictured here are Ashley Dupre, Heidi Montag, and Danielle Staub, who were photographed with Jake Pavelka in Los Angeles as cameras filmed them earlier this week. The photos sparked rumors that the Four Whores of the Apocalypse would soon ride across a barren TV hellscape with a new reality show, and I’m sad to share the news that the rumors are true. Thanks for nothing, VH1.

Jake Pavelka, Danielle Staub, Heidi Montag and other reality alumni are all going into the food business together for an upcoming series that places some big personalities under heavy pressure, PEOPLE has learned.

“They are revamping a restaurant from the ground up,” says a source on the set of the new reality series, slated to air on VH1. “They started shooting this past weekend.”

Ugh, I loathe these people with every fiber of my being. The only way these moronic jackasses could possibly have a successful restaurant is if they got a nice corner location and called it The Oldest Trade. And instead of a restaurant it was a whorehouse. And even then you’d need to keep Danielle Staub hidden behind something opaque.

×