The Best Characters And Most Beautiful Lines From Kroll Show

03.13.15 4 years ago 31 Comments
As we approach the end of Kroll Show — and as Nick Kroll’s movie Adult Beginners screens at SXSW — we look to the wonderful world he’s created and the characters we’ve been mesmerized with over the short run.

In regards to ending the show on its third season, Kroll explained in an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, “When we started the show way back in 2011, to think that we would be here almost three years later, what a journey. What a journey we’ve been on… I had a vision for what the show would be and I felt like we accomplished what we wanted to do. I just picture the show like a trilogy. Each season was like one movie, like Lord of the Rings. So my plan is in about five years to do another round and have it really terrible and look like a video game.”

While all the show’s characters hold a special place in at least one person’s heart, this list demonstrates the most beloved characters based on my opinion and the wonderful quips they’ve left us to ponder.

C-Czar
C-Czar is the charming 17-year-old with an infected lip ring, gold and silver teeth, sprinkles of acne, and super pointy side-burns who impregnated Pretty Liz. His catchphrase is “Let them eat cake!” — resulting in cakes being thrown out of moving trains. He loves to point finger guns at people and yell “blah blah blah blah.” His pet peeve is saying “I’m sorry.” Then, there’s this gem:

The Niece Denise B.
She showed up at PubLIZity wearing a bright pink, oversized shirt with her name on it, a mouth full of braces, and her hair tied back with numerous scrunchies. But after her shopping spree with Big Liz, she was quickly abducted by an older male photographer after she asked, “Am I being discovered right now, and if so, can you please take my picture next to a coconut palm tree?” To which he replied, “I can take your picture next to just about anything.”

A European
The European host of the Spotted Ox Hostel ad takes us through the accurate itinerary of the typical European, saying, “Lunch is usually something cool like cigarette, two-three bottle of red wine and then like a bowl of heavy cream.”

Wendy Shawn
Wendy Shawn is the old money component of the Rich Dicks duo. He’s fond of pastels and drugs. When he and new-money friend Aspen Bruckheimer decide to die temporarily, his death went too long. One of his almost last words: “Your going to love dying. It’s hilarious. It’s like Being John Malkovich, but you don’t have to go to Jersey.”

Bryan La Croix
Bryan stars as Mikey, also known as Legs, on the Canadian teen drama Wheels Ontario. He constantly flips his head back to get his bangs out of his face, was mistaken for being gay while testing out college dorm life, and made attempts to lose his virginity to Collette (played by Degrassi alum Lauren Collins). When a classmate asked if he was ready to have sex with Collette, he said, “I went to nurse teacher and put a squid in my exit, so I’m good to go.”

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