Last night gave us another great pair of Happy Endings episodes, both ostensibly advancing the plot line of Penny (finally) getting married to Pete. That is all well and good, and we will discuss their upcoming wedding and all the hoopla that already surrounds it in due time, I promise, but HOLY HELL you guys, how great was that first episode? If Happy Endings does eventually end up getting canceled, and no cable network swoops in to save them, I am going to write a script for a pilot titled Max and Alex Just Doin’ Pranks and Stuff, rent a helicopter, and litter Southern California with hundreds of copies of it until someone agrees to make it in the interest of public safety, if nothing else. (“Tonight at 11, four more pedestrians injured by falling scripts. Mad man still on the loose.”) And THAT ENDING. Jesus. YES.
So, yeah. We have much to cover. Let’s begin.
The Marry Prankster
- Ahh, the old “trick your friend into thinking he won the lottery” gag, previously seen in an episode of Fresh Prince when Will and Carlton pull it on Geoffrey, and he proceeds to quit and starts breaking vases. The lesson between these two examples is pretty clear: This is the worst prank. You will either lose your butler or end up covered in slime. It’s not worth it.
- Ahh, the old “Guns for Subs” prank, too, previously seen … wait, no. That one’s new. And pretty great/scary.
- This episode gave Adam Pally a chance to do something every actor loves: an evil voice. God I love a good evil voice.
- The B plot about Brad’s job hunt was good, too (“Affirmative … action?”), but I won’t be discussing it much here because the A plot was so loaded. Please accept this GIF as my apology:
- Muffin month is in May. Also, it’s not real.
- Max prefers revenge like the serve of a 7th-grade female tennis player: Slow, out of bounds, and he’s gonna pull balls out of his skirt.
- “What else is great? Syphilis? Men with bangs? Waking up with a dead dog in your bed?”
- Sneaky, seductive Alex is my new favorite Alex. (“Mama is me.”)
- Poor Pete. Got glued to the toilet because Max plays by mafia rules. And now, to quote Max, “he gon’ need a minute.”
- Also, poor Penny. She got double-slimed last night, including once in a wedding dress when the slime was intended for someone else, after she had unknowingly been real-proposed to. That’s … that’s unfortunate.
- “I ALREADY MISS MY DEAD GAY FRIEND!”
Okay, look, lots of other stuff happened too, and you are welcome to discuss it below, but we need to talk about the ending. The whole Usual Suspects parody has been done to death by everyone, but I absolutely did not see that coming. And it was GREAT. The limp, the cutting off her hair, the whole nine, ALL A RUSE. I love this woman. I love her so much. After all, she’s not as dumb as she is.
Our Best Friend’s Wedding
- The second episode focused on Pete and Penny’s marry/elope argument, and the rest of the gang tagging along for a “group ganghang.” Whole lotta innuendo in this episode. I mean, “we’re gonna pound your butt” was an anal gang rape reference. That’s a little dark. Hilarious in context, but dark.
- I love that Penny’s definition of “doing wedding stuff” involves taunting former-addicts she used to date.
- There were a bunch of lines about how small Alex is between the two episodes, most notably “You tiny psycho” and “Wake up, you tiny whore.” Cracked me up every time.
- Dave was a Bridezilla during his first wedding, because “Groomzilla is not a word, because it never needed to exist before,” and his attempt to be Chillzilla lasted about 20 minutes.
- Here are some things Alex wanted at her wedding: A bouncy house, a baby animal petting zoo, and beige napkins.
- Eliza Coupe does sociopath control freak so well. Of course her attempt to help Penny convince Pete to have a wedding would end with her getting her “bell rung” and carried out on a stretcher after a tussle with security. Of course. (Also, VIP passes turn her on sexually. Something to remember.)
- Be honest: Brad and Max made a good couple, right?
- “IT’S ABOUT CIVIL RIGHTS, SIR!” is a good thing to yell out in the middle of any argument.
- “I wanna marry you. Because we’re gay homosexuals together. I love you, and all your parts. They’re so good. Mmm. Like your butt. I love your butt. I love resting my head on your butt.” “Is that what you think gay guys do?”
- More wedding planning should involve strange, two-woman vaudeville-style salesmanship. I would get married like six times a year.
- Getting your whole wedding video “A-ha’d” seems silly and outdated, but it made Jane happy. That’s what important here.