Like a Boss.

06.21.11 7 years ago 44 Comments

Doug Hutchison, a 51-year-old actor who appeared in “Lost” and “The X-Files,” married a 16-year-old singer named Courtney Stodden last month in a ceremony that older men everywhere are calling “totally awesome.”
At least, that’s the story from E! Online. Celebuzz found a modeling page of Stodden that lists her at 17, while Hollywood casting directors with eyes would describe her as “too old” to play a high school girl. Regardless of her true age, she’s still young enough to need her mother’s permission to marry this gnarly pervert.
As much as I applaud scoring teenage tail in your 50s, I can’t help but question the wisdom of marrying a 16-year-old. I mean, sure, they’re great to get pregnant, but you don’t want to raise a kid with them. That’s why I never tell high school girls my real name.
(Click through for Stodden’s terrible music, her super-classy modeling photos, and Hutchison’s creepier roles.)

Holy good God, this song is awful. It sounds like Ke$ha’s music with lower production values. And I think a better title might have been “Don’t Put It In Me.” Because she’s underage, you see.
New rule: if a 16-year-old looks like this, it’s not illegal to sleep with her. It’s just not.
(images via BuzzFeed)
Stodden competed in the Miss Teen USA Washington pageant.
America, where 51-year-old dudes can still marry 16-year-olds. (*sniff*) “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Looooord…”

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