For five seasons on FX, Louie has followed comedian Louis CK as a fictionalized version of himself while taking an equally dramatized look at his droll, sometimes sparse, and always off-kilter life. The series artfully showcases moments that range from tender to heartbreaking, and hilarious to mortifying. The common thread through all of them, however, is the awkwardness. When CK finds himself in one of these situations, he often (but not always), tries to find a way to use his sense of humor to navigate through it. Recently, with the debut of his newest program, Horace and Pete, CK mentioned that, in regards to Louie, he simply “can’t feel that show anymore,” causing fans to worry that it may be on permanent hiatus — a horrifying thought for fans and critics, alike. While Louie might be facing an uncertain future, though, we still have 61 episodes to watch, rewatch, and parse. So, with that in mind, here’s a look at seven of the best lines from the show to help guide you through any sort of uncomfortable situation that you might end up in.
“I don’t know, brown liquid that makes people feel different than if they didn’t drink it.”
This isn’t really good for getting out of an awkward situation so much as it’s a great way to buckle in for one you’re about to endure. And nothing helps set the tone for an awkward situation more than stumbling through a simple drink order with the bartender, especially when all you’re trying to order is a shot of whiskey. Especially when the guy who pressured you to stay turns around and leaves (played here by comedian Steven Wright). The point is, don’t give up hope this early on, because you never know how your night’ll end up if you make it through until closing.
“So… he was important to you? I’m pretty sure he was the biggest piece of sh*t I ever knew.”
You know what makes for an uncomfortable situation? Coming from a funeral that was only attended by you and one other person (Robin Williams, playing himself). Should you find yourself stuck in a moment like this, why not take a page from CK’s book and just cut right to the chase? After learning that Barney, the deceased, Robin’s his brother-in-law, CK doesn’t bother to step on any eggshells, he simply stomps them to oblivion. Once you get that out of the way, you can spend the rest of your time having some real, earnest conversations, and maybe learn a thing or two about life — and death — while also sharing a good laugh afterward. You might even walk away a little bit wiser.
“Sh*t on my father’s balls.”
It’s a common myth that awkward situations have to be in a public setting with other people. In reality, everyone is perfectly capable of having a quiet night at home go to straight to hell. In moments like this (like where you destroy your kid’s toy, then desperately try to fix it), don’t be afraid to just let your frustrations out. There’s a good chance no one is going to hear you, anyway.
“What, is 10,000 years of unchecked prosperity, that’s not enough for you?”
There are two conversation topics that are almost guaranteed to start arguments: religion and politics. When CK and Nick DiPaolo (also playing a fictionalized version of himself) start discussing the latter after one of Nick’s right wing, anti-Obama tirades during his stand-up set, things get pretty heated very, very quickly. Still, CK tries to steer the conversation toward some kind of reasonable middle ground. It doesn’t last, but it’s a worthwhile effort — at least before the Nazi references start flying. Nonetheless, at the hospital afterwards, CK and Nick are able to resume their civility, because nothing will reset your perspective on petty bickering like a trip to the ER.
“It’s technically used for sex, but I, personally, have never used it that way.”
Here’s the thing: a topic like this will never be a breezy, casual chat, be it with a close friend, family member, or in this case, a TSA agent. The best way to handle it is how CK does and simply embrace it head on. After all, if you spend as much time traveling as CK does, why subject yourself to undue embarrassment when you can own the moment with a kind of direct, reluctant honesty?
“Every single person ever has masturbated. Napoleon masturbated… Gandhi, uh, Joan Jett, Shakespeare…”
Not limiting these types of chats between himself and airport security, CK goes on Fox News to not only proclaim his love for masturbation, but both the historical significance of it, as well as the reality that it’s fairly commonplace. Sometimes the best way to counter an uncomfortable situation is to meet it with honest, declarative shamelessness.
“You know what your problem is? You’re just a… pencil… penis… parade!”
Finally, when all else fails, and you get the sense everything you’ve worked for may be on the line, nothing will cut through the awkwardness quicker than a tirade of nonsensical insults that devolve into some kind of childlike dance. Whatever CK manages to pull together here as he auditions for the acceptance of a late night comedy guru who can possibly help him in his pursuit of a job to replace David Letterman, it keeps him, and his dreams, afloat for the foreseeable future. All because CK isn’t afraid to at least try and navigate his way through an awkward situation.
