Love Is Dead: Mama June and Sugar Bear Have Officially Separated

Everybody just rip up your marriage certificates and throw your wedding rings in the toilet because today is the day that love died. Mama June and “Sugar Bear” Thompson of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” fame have announced in a statement to TMZ that they are “taking some time apart” to figure out some things in their relationship. Because we all know the best way to figure things out is to stay far, far away from one another.

Although they were not legally married, Mama June has stopped wearing her wedding ring and sources reveal the real reason for the split to be Sugar Bear’s wandering hillbilly dong.

We’re told Mama June has repeatedly caught Sugar Bear trolling on online dating sites. One of them is, in which Sugar Bear — with the handle Georgiafighter31054 — says “i love to hunt fish and ride 4wheelers and have a good time.  i luve muddy Boggs and love to ride in the mudd.”

The profile has since been removed but of course nothing is ever gone from the internet forever, so here are the remaining screenshots:

Pretty generic, if you ask me. This could be the identical profile of like one out of three Georgian rednecks. If he was going to go to all the trouble, he should have probably mentioned somewhere that he was an important celebrity. Something like, “Georgiafighter31054: Basically the Poor Man’s Matthew McConaughey.”

Oh well. RIP, Mama June and Sugar Bear.