Nick Offerman's Pet Name For Wife Megan Mullally Is Hilariously Vulgar

Megan Mullally went on Conan last night to discuss… well, she mostly just talked about her husband, Nick Offerman. (It seems we’re not the only ones who fill our Parks and Recreation-less Thursdays with gratuitous helpings of Ron Swanson.) The highlight of their chat involved Offerman’s nicknames for his beloved wife, which aren’t exactly charming — at least not in a traditional sense.

Offerman openly refers to Mullally as his “legal property,” which doesn’t sound like the height of romance. But it will. Once she reveals the hilariously vulgar pet name he has for her, anything will sound downright fanciful by comparison. He does win points for alliteration and presentation, however.

Team Coco