MTV New Year’s Eve Special Adds Performers, Makes Me Feel Old

12.13.11 7 years ago 24 Comments

MTV recently released a list of celebrities who will be appearing at its annual New Year’s Eve celebration and holy crap I am 1000 years old and should just be cast off on an iceberg to die alone at sea so I no longer burden society.

MTV will ring in the new year with a little help from our friends, including Mac Miller, J. Cole and Jason Derülo. “NYE in NYC 2012” will air live at 11 p.m. ET on December 31 from Times Square and will also boast performances from Selena Gomez and co-host Demi Lovato.

“Teen Wolf” star Tyler Posey will be on hand to help Lovato count down the minutes to midnight on the show, which will also feature special appearances from Vanessa Marano and Katie Leclerc of “Switched at Birth.” [MTV]

Ok. Outside of Selena Gomez, I have no idea who any of those people are. None. And I only know who she is because she’s dating Justin Bieber (dear God why do I know that?). Tyler Posey could walk right into my living room and say “Hi, I’m Tyler Posey from ‘Teen Wolf,'” and I’d probably spend the next 20 minutes trying to figure which baby he played in the Michael J. Fox movie. Then I’d realize the movie came out in 1985 and that kid was probably born in like 1993 and I’d just die. Right there. I’d age hundreds of years and turn into dust like I drank from the wrong grail, and then I’d blow away when he turned on the blow dryer he probably carries with him to maintain his assuredly infuriating haircut.

Because I have nothing else to add due to my ignorance, here are some titles of songs I imagine will be performed during this special: “Baby, You’re My Baby Girl”; “Bounce (DJ Technoface Remix)”; “5ive Wayz I Luv U (feat. MC Dubstep)”; “Boy You’re My Only Boy (Baby)”; “Do Me At the Mall.”

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