I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know exactly what’s happening here. This is what I’ve figured out so far: You know that FIAT commercial where the cars drive around underwater? The one that starts with the lady singing “When I hear the ocean calling”? Well, it’s a full-length music video now, and it features Pitbull — who has evidently taken a momentary break from hawing every carbonated liquid known to man so he can sell you tiny Italian cars — storming a beach on a tricked-out, model-filled yacht like the Eisenhower of sexy dance parties. And there are surprise guests. And dancing seahorses. And the one girl from 3LW grinding on a giant party bro made out of sand. And mermaids. And catapults.
Here’s what I’m getting at: You should watch this video. I’m going to pick out the highlights and discuss them in a minute, as I have done with my other music video breakdowns, but really … you should watch this video. Trust me on this.
Okay, so this is Arianna. Here are all the things I know about her: 1) She is Italian; 2) She is the one who sings the part of the song that you know from commercial because it probably gets stuck in your head all day after hearing it; and 3) She is currently driving a FIAT on the ocean floor.
Just an FYI: An attractive Italian pop singer driving a compact car across the bottom of the sea does not even crack the top ten strangest things about this video.
Arianna is not the only person careening through the ocean in a FIAT. As you can see, there is a whole team along with her, defying the laws of physics and scaring the hell out of fish in brightly colored glorified golf carts.
This brings up an important point: There needs to be a Fast & Furious movie that takes place underwater. Maybe not Fast 7, or even Fast 8, but by the 15th or 16th I want one called Fast & Furious: Atlantis Speedway, and I want the trailer to feature Ludacris wearing a SCUBA suit and making a very concerned face while shouting “Uh, guys… THEY GOT AN OCTOPUS” into a walkie-talkie.