One day after NBC owned headlines thanks to Bob Costas’s exclusive, painful-to-watch interview with accused child rapist Jerry Sandusky, CBS had its own exclusive “get” with Mike McQueary, the Penn State assistant coach who, according to a grand jury, witnessed Sandusky having his way with a boy in the shower in 2002 and reported it to head coach Joe Paterno. CBS sent top sideline reporter Armen Keteyianto to interview McQueary, who gleaned every possible tidbit from him in an efficient, workmanlike 24 seconds. The transcript in entirety:
Keteyian: When do you think you’ll be ready to talk?
McQueary: The whole process has to play out. I just don’t have anything else to say.
Keteyian: Describe your emotions right now.
McQueary: All over the place, just kind of shaken.
Keteyian: You said like what, Mike?
McQueary: Like a snow globe.
Keteyian: Like a snow globe?
McQueary: Yes sir.
BOOM! Nailed it. Go ahead and blow the smoke off your finger guns, AK, then sit back and wait for that Pulitzer to arrive in the mail. You earned it today.