New Greatest Local News Story Ever.

11.12.10 7 years ago 20 Comments

I hate to re-post things from other Uproxx blogs, but this is worth watching even if you already caught it on FilmDrunk this morning. It’s from the NBC affiliate in Lexington, Kentucky, and the story features an obese man in a Stars-and-Bars-adorned “Souther Style” baseball cap being interviewed about the time he was forced to eat his own beard trimmings. Harvey Westmoreland was held at gun- and knifepoint over a disagreement about the sale of a lawnmower. In his words:

“Troy offered to buy it from me for $250. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was tryin’ to cheat him. One thing led to another, and before I knowed it, there was knives and guns. Everything just went haywire.”

The incident occurred over a year ago (it’s in the news because the attackers’ sentencing is coming up), so Westmoreland has had time to grow his beard back. But I’m still at a loss for the supposed “reasoning” behind the beard-eating. “Try to rip us off, will ya? Johnny, get the scissors! We’re gonna make this fat bastard eat his beard!” … “What? No, we’re not gonna give you any barbecue sauce!”

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