I’m such an idiot. Yes, and…I got married a month ago, and the only people my wife and I invited were our good friends and family. Morons. If we were smart, we would have found a way to mail an invitation to Parks and Recreation star Nick Offerman, knowing that even if he couldn’t make it, he’d still send an epic, perfectly Ron Swanson-esque decline, as he did to a friend of Redditor “dejerik.”
Then again, maybe it’s for the best we didn’t send one — his deathbed speech was my vow.