TV

Things Get Weird When Nikki Glaser And Kristen Schaal Feed Lines To Porn Stars

Unless you’re Ron Jeremy in Orgazmo, porn stars and comedy are rarely associated with each other. The same goes with comedians in porn. (There’s an idea for Jerry Seinfeld: Comedians In Car Getting Coffee and Watching Porn.) That’s probably a good thing. It’s not because comedians aren’t attractive people — who among us hasn’t wondered if Carrot’s top matches his Carrot drapes — but rather, they probably couldn’t say the dialogue as written.

The two worlds recently collided, though, when Not Safe host Nikki Glaser and Kristen Schaal, of Bob’s Burgers and Last Man on Earth fame, fed lines to acclaimed adult film actors Squeal If You’re Ticklish‘s Dani Daniels and three-time AVN Male Performer of the Year winner Lexington Steele. Things start off predictably enough, with Daniels standing in front of Steele’s desk. Then, while Daniels is taking off her shirt: “I just found out Jim is making twice as much as me. I work twice as hard as Jim.” This hardcore sex scene turned into a feminist declaration about the wage gap so gradually, I didn’t even notice.

Other out-of-context highlights:

-“I take this very seriously. One in three women have been sexually harassed.” “I know, and did you know one in three holes is really wet right now?”

-“Are you hitting on me? That’s against company policy.”

-“Those were in alphabetical order. Now lick my balls.”

-“Keep those doughnuts away from my desk. They’re like poison.”

-“You bet I will after I shove this Dilbert mug inside you.”

In case you couldn’t tell by the name of the show, or literally everything I just quoted, the clip is Not Safe (for work).

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