NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10.12.09 9 years ago 17 Comments

“Mad Men” actress Christina Hendricks took a huge step in breaking off my imaginary love affair with her yesterday when she married comedic actor and human-sized fish/troll mutant hybrid Geoffrey Arend at New York City restaurant Il Buco.

The redheaded Hendricks, 34, and actor Arend, 31, were engaged earlier this year after being introduced by her Mad Men costar Vincent Kartheiser…

Hendricks said she loves “everything” about Arend. “He’s considerate, he’s thoughtful, he’s smart, he takes care of me,” she said in July. “He’s very, very giving.”

Not on a list of “everything”: handsome. Listen, I don’t expect famous sexy people like Christina Hendricks to date unfamous sexy people like me. I know my lot in life. But this just sets a bad example for the rest of the world. Because if that dude gets Christina Hendricks, then I warrant a Brazilian bikini model with no gag reflex and a vibrating vagina. So ladies, if that’s not you, forget about getting with this. You can blame Christina Hendricks.

UPDATE: Just Jared has photos from the wedding. This may come as a bit of a surprise, but she looks really pretty and he’s not very attractive.

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