Oh, Man: Joe Millionaire Did Not Age Well At All

Back in the early days of reality television, before every iteration of the genre had been poked, prodded, and beaten into submission, Fox used to roll out these sociology experiments disguised as reality shows. One of the earliest and most popular was a show called “Joe Millionare,” which was kind of like “The Bachelor,” except that women were all competing for a man who they thought was a millionaire. In reality, he worked in construction or something.

There was something very Mortimer-and-Randolph about the whole thing, and reality television was fresh enough at the time that this dumb idea felt novel: Would women treat a man they thought was a millionaire differently? Indeed, for some silly reason, “Joe Millionaire” captured the attention of all of America in 2003. In fact, the show’s finale — in which the ruse was revealed — fetched 40 million viewers, an astronomical number that not even “American Idol” achieves in the ratings anymore. I even have vague recollections of one of the female contestants — who had had a career on bondage porn — taking Joe Millionaire out into the woods and giving him a hummer, the slurping sounds of which were replayed over and over and over on television the following week.

Anyway, in the end, it was Zora Andrich who stuck with Joe Millionare, a man named Evan Marriott. They did not, however, live happily ever after, as the two quickly separated as soon as they show finished filming, Marriot claiming that she lost her sex appeal once the show ended, and Andrich admitting she was in love with another man. It’s probably a good thing for Zora Andrich, as just nine years later, Evan Marriot looks like the lead singer in a Nickelback tribute band.

I didn’t realize that “Guy Fieri” was a legitimate fashion choice.

Meanwhile, Zora Andrich is a Yoga instructor who can do this with her foot.

Game, Set, Win: Andrich.