Old People Are Terrible at Everything

03.08.11 7 years ago 23 Comments

Former Wyoming senator Alan Simpson was on Fox News to talk about something — I don’t know, maybe Social Security? — and because he’s 79 years old, he has no goddam idea what the hell he’s talking about. Move over, Andy Rooney, there’s a new crotchety geezer bitching about kids these days.

The co-chairman of President Obama’s deficit commission tried to scold the elderly on Monday for complaining about their Social Security funds being targeted, but instead he found himself making a reference to “Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg.”

“This is a fakery,” Simpson said on Fox News. “If they care at all about their children or grandchildren, and sometimes I doubt that – I think, you know, grandchildren now don’t write a thank-you for the Christmas presents, they’re walking on their pants with the cap on backwards listening to the enema man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg, and they don’t like them!” [Politico]

I can’t believe that those are words that were actually said by a real human being, and not something I made up during one of my imagined Andy Rooney rants. Honestly, I don’t know why we put up with old people the way we do. Alan Simpson should have been burned for fuel five years ago.

[via Daily Kos and BuzzFeed]

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