LOOK AT HIS LITTLE BOTTLE OF BOOZE! AND HIS CLIP-ON TIE! He’s totally gonna unemotionally bone those two Barbies, then spend the next day gettin’ sauced on the hard stuff. Milk.

The Nine Best Current-Gen Video Game Soundtracks — It’s all been downhill since “DK Rap” from Donkey King 64. (Gamma Squad)

Meme Watch: “Draping” Is “Tebowing” For People Who Like Sex, Booze, and Good Television — Can “Joaning” become a thing next? (Uproxx)

Jose Canseco Not Only Wants to Play But He Also Declared Al Gore Dead — Amazing he found time to kill Al Gore while helping that woman’s whose house is on fire. (With Leather)

Gary Busey Plays a Pro-Wrestling Vampire Who Raps About Eating Spider Webs. THIS. EXISTS. — The Internet would be a terrible, terrible place without Gary Busey. (Film Drunk)

Question of the Day: Kidada Or Rashida Jones?Rashida. Always Rashida, the sweet beautiful tropical fish she is. (Smoking Section)

The Infinite Porns of Pinterest — Pinterest is to female shut-ins as YouPorn is to horny guys. (BuzzFeed)

14 Mitch Hedberg Jokes For Everyday Situations — “A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.” Genius. (Huffington Post)

Classic TV & Movie Music, Remade For the Better — “Jurassic Ska” is good, but the Jurassic Park Melodica cover is better. Than anything ever. (Adult Swim)

10 Awesome Pop Culture Ghosts — Um, where’s Space Ghost??? (Fark)

Pranked Texas Granny Demands an Apology from Justin Bieber — And he was like old lady, old lady, old lady no. (The FW)

An Open Letter to People Who Hate Things That Others Enjoy — I prefer the people who love things that others hate. You haven’t been frustrated until you’ve tried to convince someone that “Two and a Half Men” isn’t the greatest sitcom ever. (Pajiba)

The United Nations of “Married…with Children” — Our Kelly Bundy is definitely the most attractive. (Unreality Mag)

Sexual Bullying Defined — Some people spat on their female classmates when they were young; others punched them in the vagina. (Next Round)