‘Orange Is The New Black’ Discussion: Valentine’s Day At Litchfield

News & Culture Writer
06.20.14 23 Comments


Note: Orange is the New Black discussion posts are intended to give a full season perspective, and may contain minor spoilers.

Previously: Orange is the New Black: Season Two, Episode Five

If I complained that the flashback in the last episode seemed disjointed from the overall plot, in episode six, “You Also Have a Pizza,” the correlation was almost too heavy-handed. Poussey’s flashback, which sees her as an adolescent army brat with a gorgeous, ample breasted girlfriend mirrors her current situation to a T — right down to the disapproving parental figure stepping in the way of her happiness, which causes her to misguidedly lash out at the subject of her affections. The episode also takes place on Valentine’s Day, of course, just in case you missed the undertones they were getting at.

Overall it was a solid episode, even though we still don’t know why Poussey ended up in prison, which is almost as frustrating as trying to achieve orgasm by scissoring, apparently. Although if the whole “almost pulling a gun on the father of her lesbian lover” is any indication, we can probably guess. Also, if that foreshadows Poussey somehow taking Vee down? I am ALL for that. Bitch needs to die.

Elsewhere, Piper stupidly falls into Larry’s guilt trap of being his prison mole — having to use a prison newsletter as a front for her snooping — and this is not going to end well. Come on, Piper: Has Alex taught you nothing about doing favors for people? Larry is the worst.

Random thoughts:

  • Fischer stuffing the dick cookie in her mouth. WHY IS THERE NO GIF OF THIS? Jesus, The Internet. Is this your first day?
  • HEALY REDEEMED. That scene with ‘Tucky killed me. I don’t know how they managed to take two characters who I f*cking hated last season and make them both completely sympathetic, but congratulations, Jenji Kohan. Healy could kick a puppy now and I’d still be Team Healy.
  • Kudos to Suzanne wanting to focus on herself for Valentine’s Day, but Lady Moppington wouldn’t have made a bad choice for a date, either.
  • That Sideboob song that they played over the ending montage wasn’t bad, as far as poignant ending montage music, goes.
  • Poor Caputo. He invites Fischer out to Sideboob Wednesday only to have her make with the flirties with the guy who reminds me of Andy Dwyer.
  • Naked Brady Bunch marathons with Wesson Oil make Larry and Piper’s super duper kinky sex life sound like a close second to Jason Biggs’ actual sex life.
  • Red has the best motherly advice: “I’m sorry she left you Vasily but I’m sure you did something to deserve it.”
  • Never underestimate a lady with dementia. I wonder how Jimmy escaping through Red’s contraband hole (sexy!) is going to affect her new business endeavor?
  • Gonzales and Ramos had a few great moments this episode. If you think about it, there really aren’t many better things than having a pizza. Except for maybe a burrito. Feel free to discuss.
  • I’m not even going to remark on Daya and Bennett’s storyline because they irritate the living sh*t out of me.

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