‘Orange Is The New Black’ Discussion: You Are A Garden Rose And That B*tch Is A Weed

News & Culture Writer
06.13.14 24 Comments


Note: Orange is the New Black discussion posts are intended to give a full season perspective, and may contain minor spoilers.

Previously: Orange is the New Black: Season Two, Episode Two

When “Crazy Eyes” a.k.a Suzanne was introduced in the first season of Orange is the New Black, her character seemed to be intended solely as a foil for Piper, who went from thinking she had made a friend to finding herself at odds with the eccentric yet unstable inmate. At that point, Crazy Eyes was there to laugh at, and not much more.

In “Hugs Can Be Deceiving,” however, as we explore Suzanne’s background and inject some much needed humanity into her character, it suddenly feels cruel to even refer to her by that nickname at all, as we bear witness to the emotional beating she takes from the other inmates on a daily basis.

In this episode we learn that much of Suzanne’s anxiety comes from mommy issues from her adopted white mother who — although probably well intentioned in a “white guilt” sort of way — pressured her daughter to fit in while ignoring many, many red flags. When questioned by another mother whether or not it was appropriate for 10-year-old Suzanne to participate in a sleepover with white six-year-old girls along with her “miracle baby” sister, Suzanne’s mother immediately goes on the race card defense, ignoring the more obvious issue that Suzanne was not even emotionally mature enough to be able to get along with girls almost half her age.

This, of course, makes Suzanne ripe to be preyed upon by Vee, who comes in like a snake — giving her possibly the first boost of legitimate self confidence she’s ever had in her life with the following exchange:

Suzanne. Listen to me, OK? In my day? The black women ran this place. And I say women because that’s what we were. Women. Not a bunch of little girls runnin’ around here with bad attitudes. Now I see you. You understand? I see you. You’re a smart, strong black woman.

Everybody else around her underestimates you, but not me. You remember that the next time you run into dandelion or whatever the hell you want to call her. You hold your head up high, you hear me? Because at the end of the day, you are a garden rose and that b*tch is a weed.

Whatever angle Vee is working, I think it’s safe to assume it’s not good.

Random thoughts:

  • Two for two: Along with 11-year-old Taystee, they’ve been really nailing it finding child actors to portray the characters. Both four and 10-year-old Suzanne were spot on.
  • This new character Brook? Now I remember why I hated Piper so much in the beginning of the first season.
  • Speaking of Piper, now that she’s back from Chicago inner city municipal detention she has no f*cks left to give. I’m liking Lone Wolf Piper 2.0 immensely so far.
  • So it turns out Suzanne’s whole obsession with Piper had to go with her crazy mommy issues. Does that mean she wanted to f*ck her own mother? That part was unsettling, to say the least.
  • What do you think was more humiliating for Larry in this episode: Going on a date with a woman who was searching for an unmotivated schlub to stay home and raise her children or meeting with a newspaper reporter who only cares about him because of his ties to Piper? Too close to call.
  • Oh god. Poor Morello. We all knew this was coming, right? Did anyone else expect her to literally explode like an atomic bomb kind of like how Illyria did in that one season five episode of Angel?
  • While I’m making Angel comparisons (because apparently this is all “Angel is the New Black” now) does Vee’s character remind anyone else of Jasmine? SO MUCH, right? Especially in that first scene with Suzanne.
  • Oh yeah, I haven’t mentioned Daya and John at all yet. I was just on the Orange is the New Black IMDB page and one of the top message board topics was “Does anyone like Daya?” That pretty much sums up my feelings on that storyline.
  • Pennsatucky’s fancy new teefs and attitude are making her the envy of the other methnecks, so I don’t know where this leaves her now in the overall prison dynamic.
  • Really curious as to the backstory between Red and Vee’s whole weird dynamic, and how that’s going to play into whatever angle it is she’s working with Taystee, Suzanne and the others.

Creamed corn kind of is the sh*t:

creamed-corn-1 creamed-corn-2

creamed-corn-3 creamed-corn-4

Taystee and Poussey kick ass at their celeb trivia:

irwin-1 irwin-2

Pillowy tits can go a long way:

piper-nicky-1 piper-nicky-2

piper-nicky-3 piper-nicky-4

+1 Sophia:

red-1 red-2

I mean what would she even do with diamonds. Remember? You’re in prison:


Vee is evil, but I am loving this character so much:




Tucky OUT!


(All gifs via OrangeSkins)

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