Paula Deen Has Diabetes, Y’all

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In literally the least surprising possible news I can think of, TV chef and butter aficionado Paula Deen has Type 2 diabetes. You know, the kind you get from years of eating terrible fatty foods with no regard for what it’s doing to the part of your body I like to call “the inside stuff” (medical term). Yeah, I know. I’ll just post this block quote to give you a moment to collect yourself and pick your jaw up off the floor.

Paula Deen — the queen of high-calorie, Southern cooking — is about to come clean and confess that she can’t eat her own dishes anymore because she has diabetes.

The Georgia-born chef — a Food Network star who has written five best-selling cookbooks — has been trying to keep her condition a secret, even after the National Enquirer reported in April that she has Type 2 diabetes, which is often associated with fatty foods and obesity.

Sources say Deen, 64, who never addressed the diabetes question, has worked out a multimillion-dollar deal to be the spokeswoman for a pharmaceutical company and endorse the drug she is taking. [The Daily]

Oh thank God. For a minute there I was worried that the lady who advocated feeding deep fried macaroni and cheese and a cheeseburger with a donut for buns to a nation of obese kids wasn’t going to turn around and make a ridiculous amount of money off of years of unapologetic, unhealthy living. PHEW. That was a close one. A+ work, America. Keep knocking it out of the park.

(Note: Sorry, Dustin.)