GUEST PFT COMMENTARY: ‘Better Call Saul’ Is Already Better Than ‘Breaking Bad’ Ever Was

Every now and then a commenter will rise from the ranks of the internet comments toilet bowl after demonstrating that he’s one of the biggest, baddest turds around, a floater that simply can’t be flushed, and attention must be paid. PFT Commenter is such an unflushable turd. You’ve probably read his scorching HOT TAKES at places like our football humor site, Kissing Suzy Kolber, and SB Nation. And while he usually reserves his white-hot commentary for football, there are times when he simply cannot not weigh in with an opinion on something. The debut of AMC’s Better Call Saul is such a time.

Hate to break it to you but the reviews are in. It has already bested its little brother after only two episodes.

Breaking Bad was a ok show but it was weighed down with all the heavy-handed drama and “me-first” scene-stealing by Bryan Cranston, when there were many other more importent things happening in the show that never even saw the light of day. The most compelling storylines in Breaking Bad were the dymanic relatonship between Skyler and Marie, and especially Marie being an kleptomaniac and her obsesson with purple. These were storylines that were never resolved as was Hanks hilarous and show-stopping fascination with minerals.

Better Call Saul is every thing Breaking Bad was except its only about a hundred times better. Why do you think Vince Gilligan decided to end Breaking Bad before all these loose ends were tied up? Because he was sitting on a much better idea in Better Call Saul. People in the television industry have already begun to realize this which is why Cranstons reduced to making corny Esurance commercals during the Superbowl. He’s in the Wilford Bremly diabetus portion of his career and he knows it. Breaking Bad jumped the shark the second I stopped watching it.

Why Breaking Bad gets a pass into the televison hall of fame despite the fact that it relied on gimmicks like cinematography and supsense will always be beyond me. Awards and ratings dont mean a shows good= theyre meaningless statistics like measuring a runningbacks speed or a Presidents IQ. Leading the country isnt about who’s got the bigger brain for taking the SATs folks, its about who can ACT with the most guts- something we’ve all learned to well in the past 15 years.

Another thing that people forget is that Bryan Cranston was on Seinfeld as Dr. Whatley the dentist who converted to Judaism for the jokes and he was also the dad from Malcolm in the Middle. Bob Odenkirk has no such sordid television past to distract viewers from appreciating his current role. I can’t be the only one who kept waiting for Cranston to ask Jessie for a schtickle of muriatic acid, or that maybe that there would be a wrinkle where we found out that little Stevie grew up to be Walt Jr., and television audiences everywhere couldn’t help myself from anticipating a dream sequence where Walter’s three-waying Skyler and Jane Kaczmarek whlie Reece films it and uploads the money shot to youporn. Talk about distracting.

I can already hear the naysayers coming out of the woodwork to tell me that I cant offer up a legitimate critique of Breaking Bad just because I never watched all of it. I wasnt around when Hitler was alive, does that mean I need to say he was good because I didnt see him with my own two eyes? Goes both ways.

Besides, Better Call Saul is a great television show already. As we burn through episodes one and two on our DVRs its becoming more and more evidence that America will one day look back at Breaking Bad like we now look at the one-time Supergroup Destinys Child. Bob Odenkirk is Beyonce, and lets be honest Bryan Cranston is going to be left like Kelly Rowland selling reverse mortgages during B-list soap operas and trying to make a living off his one-hit wonder: “Say My Name.”

This is a work of satire, obviously.

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