TV

‘Baste Your Chubby Cheeks In Tears Of Gravy!’: Remembering Pierce Hawthorne’s Finest ‘Community’ Moments

Pierce Hawthorne’s time at Greendale Community College ended far to soon. After the fourth season, Chevy Chase — who feuded with Community creator Dan Harmon frequently — left the show, and Pierce was killed off at the beginning of Season 5. But despite all the drama, Pierce left us with plenty of great moments, and today, on Chase’s 71st birthday, let’s take a look back at some of the best…

When he told Fat Neil the horrifying truth.
Pierce was pretty much a jerk from Day One, but in Season 2, he became the clear villain of the show. That was particularly blatant in the “Advanced Dungeons & Dragons” episode, where he spends the entire time gleefully taunting poor Fat Neil. Of course, he may not be as bad as Jeff, who actually gave Neil the nickname in the first place.

He wasn’t any nicer to poor Vicky, either.
“I’m gonna eat your brains Vicky, I’m gonna slurp ’em right out of that melon you call a head.” Yeah, Pierce Hawthorne doesn’t mess around. Although he probably wishes he hadn’t said that when his microphone was on…

When he coined and minted one of the greatest phrases of our time.
And if you have to ask what it means, you’re streets behind.

His expert advice on picking classes AND losing your virginity.
“Just pick one, they all cost the same.” Well, he’s nothing if not honest.

When he was a human game of Operation.
Pierce may have not consented to being a human board game, but you’d have to admit, it would be way more fun than the real thing. But hey, at least Troy and Abed didn’t get his spare ribs.

He never let go of his youth — even though he was really old.
Was Pierce Hawthorne too old to make monkey shines at a picture show? Of course not, how could you even suggest such a thing! He’s younger than the three of you put together!

When he inspired the greatest song ever written.
No, Pierce doesn’t appear in this song himself, but it wouldn’t exist without him. After driving poor Vaughn crazy, he had no choice to retaliate with the immortal “Pierce You’re A B,” a reggae jam for the ages. And let’s be honest, Pierce was a pretty big B.

When he showed his school spirit.
Pierce may be an old, bigoted curmudgeon (and a total B), but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Greendale with all his heart. When he sang this magnificent ode to “dancin’ in your underwear/takin’ air conditioner repair,” it was clear the was the proudest Human Being of them all.

×