‘Powerless’ Should Feature Some Of These Ridiculous DC Heroes And Villains

DC Comics is taking a different direction with Powerless, a sitcom that just got a full-series order from NBC. The comedy follows an insurance adjuster, played by Vanessa Hudgens, who has to try and avoid paying for the ridiculous amounts of property damage superheroes cause as they fight supervillains. Interestingly, Powerless has access to DC’s complete toybox, and the show is, from all appearances, willing to be obscure. The pilot will feature the Crimson Fox, a superheroine who’s barely appeared in DC’s comics since the ’90s.

This is a feature of DC’s shows: The Flash and Arrow both gleefully pull forgotten villains like the Bug-Eyed Bandit and Double Down off the shelves. So if Powerless is going to dig that deep in the back bench, then they should pull out some of DC’s, ah, less acclaimed heroes and villains. Here are just a few suggestions.

Blue Snowman

The Blue Snowman first appeared in a Wonder Woman story in 1946 and has two unique features. One, Bryna Brilyant (yes, really) is not, in fact, a dude. Two, people call her the “Blue Snowman” because she goes around in what amounts to power armor hidden inside a mascot costume. That said, she does have a “blue snow” gun, which can cryogenically freeze anybody in seconds, so you’d think she’d be dangerous. Instead, well, featured above is her most dignified moment.

Air Wave

In the Golden Age, Air Wave was a law clerk who decided to fight crime by using a police scanner and special roller skates that would let him ride on phone lines. He also had a parrot sidekick that he talked to a lot, because, let’s face it, nobody talks to a guy in a green singlet on roller skates. He was later redesigned so he could turn into energy, and thus actually be an effective superhero. But his goofy roots remain, and the fact that he’s the cousin of the far more popular Green Lantern really doesn’t help.

Sidearm

You know how a gun is called a “sidearm?” This guy heard that and decided he could improve on a gun, by designing a vest that gave him a third arm and committing crimes with it. First appearing in Superboy in the early ’90s, he doesn’t even have the dignity of being intelligent enough to build his own gimmick, instead buying it off another obscure supervillain. As a result, he’s about as effective as he sounds.

 Blue Jay

He looks badass in that image, right? Sadly, it’s not to scale: Blue Jay’s power is that he shrinks down to seven inches tall and grows wings. And flies. That’s it. That’s his whole power set. If that sounds familiar, he was introduced in the early ’70s as an affectionate parody of Marvel’s Wasp. Despite this, he’s spent a lot of time in various Justice Leagues and has gotten the occasional heroic moment to his name, and he did manage to escape a Russian gulag all on his own. Just… he’s so teeny!

“Polecat” Perkins

One of DC’s many one-issue wonders from the 1950s, where Batman fought a gimmicky new villain every month, Polecat got a new lease on life thanks to the animated series Batman: The Brave and The Bold despite seeming like he’d be better suited to fighting Dick Tracy. There’s a reason he’s tough to write seriously, though: His power is his overwhelming, nauseating B.O. Really, the cheap jokes write themselves.

Fate

Doctor Fate is a respected DC hero with a long legacy. Fate on the other hand is a profoundly unfortunate reboot of Doctor Fate from the mid-’90s where his cowl and cape were turned into throwing daggers and a machete, and he became a white guy with a mullet and a red and gold fashion scheme even hair metal rockers would be embarrassed to be seen in. Everybody knows a guy who found his era and refuses to admit it has passed, and Fate would be an ideal superhero to represent them.

Doctor Spectro

Doctor Spectro is a supervillain who makes you feel bad. That’s true both in the sense that his powers control your emotional state, and in the sense that you just look at him and realize this guy lacks any ability to reevaluate his life choices. He’s been a joke villain more or less since his introduction, as originally he was nothing more than a fake supervillain being used by the military to cover up some secret experiments. His costume is so ugly, superheroes make fun of it. Really, you’d think a guy who can control emotions would just hang a shingle and become a New Age therapist. He’d probably make a lot more money.

Amazing Man

amazing man

Amazing Man is not actually lame, per se. First introduced in writer Roy Thomas’ ’80s run on All-Star Squadron as a “forgotten” hero from the 1940s, he’s an Olympic athlete who can mimic anything he touches, and was a civil rights leader in the ’60s. But as you might guess from the half-assed name, he’s gotten the short end of the stick for years, to the point where his history was erased in DC’s last reboot, making him just another hero with the most generic name ever. Every comedy needs a guy who does everything right and gets no respect anyway, and that, sadly, is Amazing Man to a tee.

The Dummy

Back in the 1940s, Green Lantern had one weakness: His mighty power had no effect on wood. So, he fought a whole bunch of wood-based villains, most notably the tragic Solomon Grundy. But they can’t all be winners, and The Dummy was literally just a ventriloquist dummy that had come to life somehow. In other words, they gave Pinocchio a gun and called it a day, proving “phoning it in on a Friday” is not a modern invention.

There are others, of course. DC’s been publishing since the ’30s, so there’s a litany of useless villains and forgotten heroes they can use. But if nothing else, a few of these guys deserve a break. Especially Doctor Spectro.

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