The ridiculous airfares, the excessive baggage fees, the lack of name-brand pretzels, the underpaid flight attendants. It’s all ALF’s fault. Let me explain: as a response to Virgin America’s super-viral Safety Dance, Delta commissioned a kitschy clip of their own, “Delta’s 80’s In-Flight Safety Video.” It’s like an episode of The Goldbergs, but with less Jeff Garlin screaming in his underwear and more references to technologies and hairstyles gone by.
Even ALF drops by. That’s a big get. ALF commands a hefty appearance fee; that’s why it’s taken so long for the damn ALF movie to never come out. But what Delta wants, Delta gets (unlike Delta’s passengers), so they raised the cost of everything, and lowered their employee’s salaries, to afford Gordon Shumway’s one-day fee.
Oh yeah, and they threw in some pussy. Cats, people. Cats. ALF’s not a monster. Only really racist.