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What Should Forrest MacNeil’s Final Review On ‘Review’ Be?

After 50-plus reviews, including six five-star reviews, Forrest MacNeil will file his final review during “Last Review,” tonight’s series finale of Review. (I promise I’ll stop saying the word “review” so much. Also, Andy Daly hasn’t actually said it’s the finale, but Comedy Central is billing this season as “The Final Season,” and the episode is called “Cryogenics; Lightning; Last Review.” I hope I’m wrong, but it’s probably the finale.) He’s already made a sex tape, gotten divorced, visited a glory hole, lived like Helen Keller, attended a sex party, lead a cult, eaten a moldy Locorito and 30 pancakes, and, oh yeah, committed murder — what’s left?

We have some ideas for creator and star Andy Daly.

Running for President

Considering the current political climate in the United States and, consequentially, the rest of the world, it’s quite obvious what Forrest is reviewing in “Last Review”: running for president. American television viewers are, after all, living under the reign of President Donald Trump — the very man who caused “World War III” to trend because Sens. John McCain and Lindsey Graham were mean to him. After everything he’s endured, what could Forrest possibly due that would eclipse the New York real estate mogul’s batsh*t presidential campaign? (Hint: Anything, really.) Rating: zero stars, because that’s how many we’ll see in the sky during nuclear winter. — Andrew Husband

Dying

My pick for the last review of Review would be “What is it like to die?” This is incredibly bleak for a comedy, which would make it, well, kind of perfect for Review. Right? They’ve been mining humor from the blackest possible situations from Day 1, so I’m sure they could do it with Forrest reviewing his own demise. Like, I could see him being more conflicted about how to give death a rating if he’s not alive to do it than with the actual mechanics and finality of ending his life. (The man takes his job seriously.) But even as I type this, I feel like I’m being presumptuous. Who am I to tell them how to end this show, especially after all the incredible twists they’ve given us during the show’s run? (R.I.P. Fred Willard.) I’m sure they’ll figure it out.

FINAL REVIEW: What is it like to die?
NULL Stars, because Forrest is gone but zero is impossible — Brian Grubb

Survival

The last review on Review should be survival.

Grant and the rest of Forrest’s workmates all end up hunting the former host for the rest of his days. Everybody but Grant gives up because he never really did forgive him for paralyzing him.

Three stars for the hunt, four stars for the blaze of glory that ends the show.

Also, didn’t this show just come back. Now it’s gone. — Andrew Roberts

Experiencing the Afterlife

Thanks to mystics he found on Craigslist and powder packets he bought at 7-Eleven, Forrest will get the chance to experience the afterlife.

I anticipate Hell thanks, in large part, to all the horrible quests undertaken in the name of reviewing life. And for Forrest, I imagine Hell is a bare room with no doors, windows, or things to experience besides nothingness.

And there will be no pancakes. Zero stars. — Jason Tabrys

Reconciling With Your Ex-Wife

Because after all the hell Forrest has put himself through, it’d be nice to see him finally twig to the fact he’s put job and ego ahead of family and get it right. The series should end on a note of real growth for him. — Dan Seitz

Quitting

After years of incomprehensibly ruining his own life by reviewing life itself, Forrest recently gained a hint of perspective when A.J. swapped places with him, got her review assignment, and then didn’t do the review.

Who knew such a thing was even possible!

With that kernel of possibility in his mind, and the realization that he will never mend his relationship with either Grant or his wife while still participating in the show, Forrest takes the unprecedented step to STOP REVIEWING LIFE FOR GOOD. In the final scene he quits the show, changes into a casual pair of Levi’s and a dirty USC sweatshirt he found in the Review offices, and walks out of the studio for good — while thinking about what he wants to do (voluntarily and with no risk to his family) for the rest of his life.

A.J. takes over as permanent host of the show and turns it into a travel and life advice show, which she excels at happily for many years winning multiple Emmys along the way. — Whitney McIntosh

Rolling Around With Some Damn Puppies

Over the course of two seasons of Review, Forrest MacNeil has had some of the worst things happen to him that could ever happen to a human being. He got regrettably divorced from his wife and estranged from his children, addicted to cocaine (although that’s probably fun, up to a point), was indirectly responsible for the death of his ex-father-in-law, and then watched as his only friend left in the world, an imaginary friend named “Clovers,” got shivved right in front of him. And those are just some of the highlights!

Being that I’m not a sadist, I just want to see something nice happen to Forrest. Oh, this is all going to end terribly for him, that’s for sure. But maybe once this season he just gets to plays with some damn puppies. Just a whole bunch of puppies, and maybe they roll around on the floor for awhile and they kiss and snuzzle him with their bitty puppy faces, and — if just for a moment — he can forget about all of the horrible things he’s done that will haunt him until literally the day he dies. That would be great. — Stacey Ritzen

Trade Places with Your Child

Review (our Review, not the series-within-a-series Review) is bleak, but it’s not heartless. It can’t end with Forrest getting shot by Grant, or committing suicide (that’s life’s series finale), because to quote the host of Andy Daly’s most-frequented podcast, “It’s not that kind of show.” But it is the kind of show where some random Twitter user asks what it’s like to go through a “Freaky Friday” or trading place situation with your child. So, while Forrest (who, despite all his faults, refused to shoot an arrow from his son’s head) is freed from his cycle of self-abuse (FIVE STARS), he dooms his child to a lifetime — or at least another season — of reviewing life itself (ZERO STARS).

I guess it is that kind of show, after all. — Josh Kurp

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