There’s Going To Be An Unauthorized, Off-Broadway ‘Saved By The Bell’ Musical

I’ve got six words for you: Unauthorized Saved by the Bell musical.

Bayside! The Musical!, which is billed as “the unauthorized musical parody of TV’s Saved By The Bell,” will begin performances at Off-Broadway’s Theatre 80 Sept. 12. [Playbill]

More. Tell me more. Now.

“From the twisted minds that brought you Showgirls! The Musical,” press notes state, “Bayside! The Musical! tackles all the tough questions: Will Zack and Kelly break up? Will Slater quit wrestling forever? Who will develop an incurable caffeine addiction? Can the gang save The Max? Will Screech die? Bayside! The Musical! has it all: large cell phones, wrestling, feminism, ducks covered in oil, teenage pregnancy, and proms.”

Oh God. Oh, this sounds terrible. But, like, good terrible. I think. To be perfectly honest, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. Part of me thinks this is just a shameless attempt to grab some cash by tossing things like “Saved by the Bell” and “musical” in a press release and watching the chumps roll in, but another part of me kind of wants to drink a bunch of beer in the parking lot and be one of those chumps. I don’t know. I have much to ponder here. I just hope they throw a couple bucks at Casey Kasem to have him narrate. You know, to stay true to the source material.