David Schwimmer and Ray Romano will both live forever in a never-ending loop of Friends and Everybody Loves Raymond repeats. It’s almost impossible to not accidentally stumble upon one of these shows airing at really anytime of the day. Both Friends and Everybody Loves Raymond made Schwimmer and Romano wealthy individuals, which allows both of them to kind of do whatever the hell they want to do.
Since Friends, Schwimmer has done voice work in the Madagascar films and directed Simon Pegg in Run Fatboy Run. Since Everybody Loves Raymond, Romano received critical acclaim for his work on Men of a Certain Age and Parenthood and had a pretty good cameo in Judd Apatow’s Funny People. Right now, both of them are on a weekly television series trying to make you forget what you once knew about Ross Geller and Ray Barone.
Schwimmer is currently playing Robert Kardashian on FX’s The People v. O.J. Simpson, a role that acts as the heart of the show. Romano plays Zak Yankovich on HBO’s Vinyl, the head of promotions at a fictional record label in the early 1970s.
Each week while the shows overlap, we’ll compare (and maybe even contrast) each of these former sitcom titans’ performances so we can decide just who did a better job of making us forget about Ross Geller and Ray Barone. Let’s break down the week:
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Schwimmer’s best line this week as Robert Kardashian:
“Your Uncle Juice is a good man.”
Runner up:
“We are Kardashians. And in this family, a loyal friend is more important than being famous.”
Romano’s best line this week as Zak Yankovich:
“I got a blowjob on a bus once. That’s it. I’m in the four-foot high club.”
Runner up:
“Jerkoff first, Chekhov later.”
Winner: Schwimmer
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Schwimmer’s best moment this week as Robert Kardashian:
Robert Kardashian takes his children out for lunch and is seated right away because the greeter recognizes him from the O.J. Simpson case. He then gives the Kardashian family a lecture about fame, saying, “Fame is fleeting. It’s hollow. It means nothing at all without a virtuous heart.”
Romano’s best moment as Zak Yankovich:
In a flashback, we see Yankovich delivering payola to a local disc jockey, a payment-for-play in the form of cash and cocaine. The cocaine is lined up on a spinning, playing-on-the-air copy of Chicago’s Chicago V – but the needle on the record is hampering Yankovich’s access to the cocaine, so he brushed it out of the way, resulting in a scratching sound for thousands of listeners.
Winner: Schwimmer (barely)
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Best screenshot of David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian this week:
Best screenshot of Ray Romano as Zak Yankovich this week:
Winner: Romano
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Who won the week:
It was a strong performance from Romano in the two-hour debut of Vinyl, but nothing is going to top Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian lecturing his children about the pitfalls of fame. David Schwimmer won the week.
Mike Ryan lives in New York City and has written for The Huffington Post, Wired, Vanity Fair and New York magazine. He is senior entertainment writer at Uproxx. You can contact him directly on Twitter.
