Seth Meyers Celebrated Patriot Act Provisions Expiring With A Group Of ‘NSA Employees’

06.02.15 3 years ago

Three provisions of the Patriot Act expired on Sunday, and Late Night host Seth Meyers checked in with NSA employees to get their reactions.

The “NSA Employees,” played by comedians John Lutz and Conner O’Malley, were divided on the decision. Lutz was “ecstatic” that he wouldn’t have to listen to “old people” conversations anymore, like kids calling their grandma for her birthday or old ladies ordering broaches from the Home Shopping Network:

“For 15 years, my job has been to listen to Americans talking on the phone. It is mind-numbing.”

O’Malley was much less pleased because he will never get any resolution in the on-going love triangle between high school seniors Kim Brown, Alyssa McGuire, and Michael Dunn, which he has been following through their phone calls and text messages:

“You see, last week, I overheard Kim call Alyssa to talk about how she dry-humped Michael, but here’s the thing: Me and the other analysts think that Kim was just trying to get Alyssa jealous!”

Comedian Amber Ruffin gives the private citizen’s perspective as a Boston mother named Isis. She is pleased that her friends can speak freely with her on the phone again without the fear of ending up on a terror watch list:

“No one wanted to say my name on the phone, but now, I can call my friends and invite them to brunch, and they can say, ‘I’d love to join you, Isis!'”

(Source: The Daily Dot)

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