Seth Meyers Does His Best Auctioneer Impression While Trying To List Trump’s Faults In Under A Minute

News & Culture Writer
11.03.16 3 Comments

Let’s be honest — most of Late Night host Seth Meyers’ “A Closer Look” segments have concerned themselves with Donald Trump. From the Republican nominee’s apparent need to communicate with his staff via television appearances, to the Donald’s close relationship with Fox News personality Sean Hannity, the talk show comedian has left no stones unturned when it comes to all things Trump. Yet this didn’t stop Meyers and the Late Night writers room from reviewing the presidential candidate’s greatest hits during the past year and a half of 2016 election coverage. (Yes, it’s been that long.)

Much of the Wednesday’s “Closer Look” entry concerned more recent fare — like Trump’s praise for Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker despite ridiculing his former opponent during the primaries, or House Speaker Paul Ryan’s inability to say Trump’s name during interviews. But that wasn’t enough for Meyers:

“Do you pick someone who’s under federal investigation for using a private email server, or do you pick someone who called Mexicans rapists, claimed the president was born in Kenya, proposed banning an entire religion from entering the U.S., mocked a disabled reporter, said John McCain wasn’t a war hero because he was captured, attacked the parents of a fallen soldier, bragged about committing sexual assault, was accused by 12 women of committing sexual assault, said some of those women weren’t attractive enough for him to sexually assault, said more countries to get nukes, said he would force the military to commit war crimes, said a judge was biased because his parents were Mexicans, said women should be punished for having abortions, incited violence at his rallies, called global warming a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese, called for his opponent to be jailed, declared bankruptcy six times, bragged about not pay income taxes, stiffed his contractors and employees, lost a billion dollars in one year, scammed customers into his fake university, bought a six foot-tall painting of himself with money from his fake foundation, has a trial for fraud coming up in November, insulted an opponent’s looks, insulted an opponent’s wife’s looks, and bragged about grabbing women ‘by the p*ssy’?”

After several deep breaths to revive himself, Meyers weighed his hands jokingly and quipped, “How do you choose? Because it’s so even.” Per the Late Night host’s most pertinent point, it remains a valid question for undecided Republicans, Democrats and Independents as six five days remain before election day on November 8th.

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