There have been some brutal wars in our lifetimes — not actual war-wars, where people die en masse. We mean wars between products that are almost but not exactly the same. There was VHS vs. Betamax. There was Letterman vs. Leno. There was Antz vs. A Bug’s Life. There’s the perennial Coke vs. Pepsi duel that never ends. But few have been as gory as the one that started in the ’80s: the one between video game consoles Nintendo and Sega.
That war is over: Nintendo won because they still exist, and Sega lost because they haven’t put out a console since 2005’s handheld Advanced Pico Beena, which was only released in their native Japan. But that only means it’s time to turn it into must-binge TV. And so it shall be: Variety is reporting that Seth Rogen and his longtime bestie/creative partner Evan Goldberg are producing a small screen version of Blake J. Harris’ book Console Wars: Sega, Nintendo and the Battle that Defined a Generation, which you may one day watch on your PS4.
As it happens, Rogen and Goldberg wrote the introduction to the paperback edition of the book, first published in 2014. The two have been trying to turn into content for years, and have finally gotten their wish. Jordon Vogt-Roberts, the guy who went from the indie Kings of Summer to the blockbuster Kong: Skull Island, will direct the pilot.
We’re going to assume the whole thing will be like The Late Shift, the 1996 HBO movie about the Letterman-Leno debacle, but with more arcane Sega Genesis games like Quiz & Dragons, a fantasy game where mages ask you trivia questions about the original Twin Peaks. And it will have that Rogen/Goldberg touch, meaning butt jokes and swear words and the possibility of an international incident involving North Korea or some other aggressor nation. As long as it assumes the hot take that Sonic has always been better than Mario.