Let These ‘Simpsons’ Christmas Moments Put You In The Holiday Spirit


The holiday The Simpsons is most associated with is Halloween. There have been 28 seasons of the longest animated show in primetime history, and 27 “Treehouse of Horror” installments. Surprisingly, there have been only 13 episodes dedicated to Christmas (soon to be 14, after this Sunday’s “The Nightmare After Krustmas”), although one of them was the show’s very first episode. But in that baker’s dozen, there have been some classic holiday moments that are worth remembering with Christmas around the corner.

1. “But he’s a loser! He’s pathetic! He’s… a Simpson.”

The series premiere of The Simpsons, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire,” introduces a problem that has come up time and time again during the show’s 28-season (and counting) run: Homer is worried about money. That’s an issue many of us have, especially around the holidays when gift-giving can set you back hundreds of dollars, but Homer learns an important lesson after bringing home the new family dog, Santa’s Little Helper, from the race track: Even the most expensive present can’t compete with “something to share our love.”

2. “Oh, sweetie, this is the best present a mother could get.”

Bart gets caught shoplifting a video game (not just any video game, but the video game: Bonestorm) at the local Try-N-Save, but he tries to keep it — and his banishment from the store — a secret from his family. His plan falls apart, however, when Marge takes the family there for the annual Christmas photo and she learns what her Special Little Guy did in front of everyone. She’s not mad at him for shoplifting; she’s disappointed that he lied to her (okay, she’s also a little steamed about the “four-finger discount”).

Bart worries that Marge has stopped caring about him, and that her heart “absorbs everything that touches it,” like a bathroom rug. But he earns back her love — which he, of course, never lost in the first place; a mother’s love is the bad kind of priceless — by giving Marge what she wanted all along: a nice family photo.

3. “And isn’t that the best gift of all?”

Bart is, once again, up to no good in season nine’s “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace” when he accidentally melts the Christmas tree and presents. Rather than explain what really happened, Bart buries the gifts in the yard and blames the mishap on a burglar with a glass eye, wooden leg, big scar on his cheek, and hooks for hands. Bart’s misfortune turns into the Simpsons’ fortune when the Springfield community raises $15,000 for the family to “buy some happiness.” Naturally, they spend it on a car, which almost immediately blows up, and Bart’s lie is exposed on live television. The Simpsons are penniless and friendless, and after a failed turn on Jeopardy!, they return home to see their pals gathered at the house. They’ve made peace with the Simpsons… by taking everything they own. With one exception: a washcloth. The episode ends with the family merrily running around the house with the washcloth, because “having nothing reminds us how lucky we really are.” (Although a fire truck and Cajun sausage would be nice, too.)

4. “You’re just gonna break into everyone’s house and steal their favorite toy?” “Thus saving Christmas.”

Gary Coleman might be “a few prawns short of a galaxy,” but he makes some good points about capitalism. After stopping Homer and the kids from burning every Funzo doll in town — it’s a long story — the Diff’rent Strokes star and Lisa get into an argument about the commercialization of Christmas. When Lisa calls his toy company evil, Coleman responds, “Well, isn’t it possible for an evil company to make people happy?” She fires back, “Are you saying the end justifies the means?”

That “glib interpretation” leads to, according to an unseen narrator, Coleman and the Simpsons arguing “long into the night, and then, as day broke, the spirit of the season entered their hearts.” They finally reach an agreement: “The commercialization of Christmas is, at best, a mixed blessing.” There’s no wrong way to celebrate Christmas, as long as you’re with the ones you love. And, um, Gary Coleman.

5. “It’s the Christmas hobgoblins!”

What’s worse than going to school when it’s snowing outside? Going to school when it’s snowing outside… the day before Christmas break. That’s what happens to Bart and Lisa, among other unlucky Springfield Elementary students, when Principal Skinner decides to keep his “Cal Ripken-like streak of school openage” intact.

To pass the time, and because all the teachers are at a conga-line caucus, Skinner shows the kids his favorite movie about a “grinchy little character who tries to steal Christmas.” He’s, naturally, referring to the endless The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t, But Then Was, which, as Lisa points, out, couldn’t have less to do with Christmas. So, the next time you complain about watching It’s a Wonderful Life for the 87th time, be glad you’re not listening to a hobgoblin pitching woo to you for over two hours.


6. “No, I’m still Buddhist. But I can worship with my family, too.”

Just because hundreds of millions of people celebrate Christmas doesn’t mean everyone does. Jews have Hanukkah and, as Lisa learns in season 13’s “She of Little Faith,” Buddhists “respect the diversity of other religions as long as they’re based on love and compassion.” If Lisa, who converts to Buddhism, wants to celebrate, she can celebrate Christmas, as long as she pays “lip service” to the church. That’s good enough for Marge! You should always keep an open mind, especially when it comes to other people’s beliefs.

7. “Christmas carols only have one verse. Well, they may have more, but the second verse is where they get all weird and religious-y.”

Thanks to our good friend global warming, Springfield is the only town in America to have snow on Christmas, leading to an influx of tourists. Marge turns the house into a bed and breakfast to give the out-of-towners somewhere to stay, a decision she quickly regrets when the visitors start grumbling about everything. “I’ve opened up my house to you,” Marge grouses, “and all you do is fill this joyous season with petty complaints.” On Christmas, the guests realize the error of their whiny ways, and sing carols for the Simpsons. It’s a reminder that a bad mood is infectious, but so is cheer.

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