Snooki-Puncher Joins the Army

03.07.11 8 years ago 31 Comments

Brad Ferro, the Bronx high school teacher who lost his job after MTV showed footage of him punching Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, has joined the Army. According to his father Dan, Ferro couldn’t find a job or a woman to date him after he drunkenly socked a 4’11” woman on national television. Funny how that works. From the New York Post:

“My son made them famous,” the Long Island man’s outraged dad, Dan, told The Post, referring to the show and its cast. “They made a lot of money off of him, and I think they owe him.”

Yes, you read that correctly: Snooki should pay Brad Ferro for punching her. Sounds like a winnable lawsuit. “Ayyy, ladies and gennelmen of da jury, Snooki’s face looked bettah after my client knocked da ugly off of it, nome sayin’? Dat bitch oughta be, like, payin’ reparations an’ whatnot.”

Ferro, meanwhile, was forced to move in with his grandmother this winter after his unemployment insurance ran out. He and his family became exiles in their Deer Park, LI, community. “We all had a hard time,” said Dan Ferro, his voice cracking. “We couldn’t even go to the diner.” […]

After realizing he was out of options, Brad decided to join the military, training, his dad said, as a Cavalry Scout — part of the specialized reconnaissance unit that is among the first behind enemy lines.

As much as it bothers me that this article paints military service as a last resort instead of something that people do with pride, I like that the Army has given Ferro a second chance. I wish him the best. Maybe after we wrap things up in Iraq and Afghanistan, he can lead the Anti-Guido Task Force (Lady Punching Unit).

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