Someone Please Transcribe The Lyrics To Nokia’s ‘I Am A Veggie’ Commercial

I can tell you the exact number of times I’ve seen Nokia’s Lumia 1020 commercial: every time I’ve turned on the TV over the last two months. You know the ad even if you don’t know it. A bunch of terrible parents disrupt and crash their kids’ elementary school play because instead of watching the thing, they need to record it, meaning they’ll never watch it because who the hell watches recordings on their phone? It’s maddening, and the “plot,” so to speak, isn’t even the worst thing about it. No, that would be THE SONG THAT I CAN’T GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

But the only first two lines, which is the most terrible thing of all.

“I am a veggie, I am so tasty…” THEN WHAT. “La la la la la la.” Every time I see the commercial, I turn the volume up that much higher, in the hopes that I’ll finally be able to make out what the terrified child in a pea pod costume is saying. It’s gotten to the point where the damn commercial sounds like a Deafheaven album. “Sorry, neighbors, but I need to know what the singing vegetables are saying!” And I’m not the only one:

You know it’s a problem when it’s on Yahoo! Answers. (Also, to half answer that question: “The Barber of Seville.” As for the other lyrical half: !!!!!) Please, Nokia, help me out: what are the dumb wiener kids saying? I promise to buy one of your phones if you tell me. (Note: promise not legally binding.) Because right now, the only thing I hate more than the horrible parents in your commercial is your commercial itself.