TV

Sookie Stackhouse Lines For When You’re Just Trying To Keep It Together


While she eventually found out that she’s a fairy (to quote: “how f*cking lame?!”), Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) was just your regular small town waitress when True Blood(which you can stream anytime on HBO Now) began. Sure, she could read minds, but she certainly wasn’t cued into the insane world of vampires, werewolves, and shifters that she was living on the fringe of. Because of her upbringing with the sweet, dearly departed Gran, Sookie always managed to be down to earth despite the fact that her life, romantic and otherwise, became a tornado of supernatural madness.

If you feel like the only normal one in your increasingly insane life, Sookie is a good role model for keeping it together as best as you can. The next time you find yourself dumbfounded by the weirdness around you, these Sookie quotes will help you keep everything in perspective.

“This feels a little bit like what a vampire bar would look like if it were a ride at Disney World.”

Faced with a leather clad Eric Northman draped across his absurd throne, many would have been overwhelmed by a mix of fear and horniness, but Sookie managed to call out the ridiculousness of the situation. Anything you’re faced with is probably small potatoes compared to a blood drenched vampire bar, so keep it real by calling out the bulls*t.

“May I ask you a personal question?” — Bill

“Bill, you were just licking blood out of my head. I don’t think it gets much more personal than that.” — Sookie

When you’re dating a vampire, your relationship is bound to be a little… unorthodox. While Bill (Stephen Moyer) tried to be a Southern gentlemen at the beginning of their relationship, Sookie was the first to admit that this was pretty much impossible. The second that that much blood is involved in a relationship, any pretense of boundaries is out the window. Hopefully blood sucking is off the table in your dating life, but the sentiment could still be used when you’re trying to be realistic about your relationship.

“I keep expecting him to come through the door and say, ‘Sookeh!'”

Honestly, making fun of Bill’s ridiculous accent is the realest moment Sookie has in the entire series. The fact that she manages to poke fun at him is even better when it occurs after he’s been kidnapped by a crazed Nazi werewolf cult. If Sookie can stay grounded in the midst of the most insane situations with a well-deployed “Sookeh!,” then there’s no reason that you can’t next time you find yourself on the frustrating side of life.

“How can you not believe in miracles and magic when they’re happening all around us every single day? There’s a miracle just out there just waiting for Bill. I just have to go out there and find it.”

It would be easy for Sookie to get bogged down in all of the horrible things that the supernatural has brought into her life. And yet, despite being hunted, attacked, and emotionally devastated, Sookie still manages to be optimistic about her situation. Being able to see that light in all that darkness is one way to keep her head above the water, so while that optimism sometimes feels a little misguided to the cynics out there, it probably helped keep Sookie from losing her mind. Looking for a silver lining might be just what you need when things look particularly awful.

“A 3,000-year-old vampire wants to suck my blood. Must be a Thursday!”

With each new season came a new threat to Sookie’s life. Sure, she had the magic fairy blood that was basically catnip to vampires and other things that go bump in the night, but after a while, it was almost too unbelievable that one girl (or, as Pam so eloquently put it, “her magical vagina”) could be at the center of all this supernatural drama. Realizing the gravity of your situation is the first step to keeping your life together, and Sookie manages to do that without completely losing hope. Making jokes in the face of yet another immortal being trying to kill you? That’s pretty damn brave.

“Go back to hell where you came from, you f*cking dead piece of sh*t.”

Honestly, she could have said this to almost every character she came in contact with on the show. While Sookie usually falls on the side of Team Vampire, sometimes it was in her best interest to cut them out completely. Be it vampire or just a regular toxic relationship, knowing when to send someone back to whatever hell pit they crawled out of is one of the best acts of self-care you can do. Standing up for yourself is the best way to keep your grip on reality, and Sookie was never much of a shrinking violet. While she may have been overshadowed by some of the other characters, being “ordinary” gave her plenty of strength to see beyond the insane situations she was in.

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