01.22.10 8 years ago 13 Comments

The new series “Spartacus” premieres on Starz tonight, and since I’m staying in to watch Conan anyway, I figure I’ll give it a shot. I’ve already taken a peek at the first episode online, and from what I can tell it offers three things: tits, copious amounts of cartoonish blood, and an instant dissolution of my interest any time either of those two aren’t on-screen. The dialog is mercilessly bad, but I look forward to plugging the data into my theorem of male entertainment:

E = (P (x + v))/t

— where E is entertainment value, P is plot, x is sex, v is violence, and t is time. Basically, as long as the show isn’t too long and the plot isn’t a null set, it’s going to be worth my while. Sorry, is this too highbrow? What I’m trying to say is that nudity and violence are awesome.

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