Spencer and Heidi Are Doing Great

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag — the unapologetic villains of “The Hills” and arguably the most shameless famewhores of the 21st century — were ubiquitous in the gossip news cycle until America’s collective revulsion finally rendered them obsolete. Now, in a lengthy and revealing interview with The Daily Beast, they recognize making mistakes in their intertwined careers and personal lives. The whole thing is worth reading, but here’s the crux of it:

They’re broke and living at Spencer’s parents’ beach house in Santa Barbara because of the free rent; Heidi’s body and face are forever changed from plastic surgeries she now wishes she had not gotten; their relationships with friends and family are severely damaged; and they have found themselves largely unemployable, both on camera and off.

Other revelations: “Reality TV is not a career” (Spencer); the couple spent $2 million on Heidi’s hilariously terrible attempt at a music career; Spencer estimates he spent $1 million on clothes he wore once and threw away (“I would never wear that again. They’re props. Everything we were doing, we were buying props”); and much of the drama between them — not just for the cameras, but in their lives — was faked (they’ve never broken up).

All in all, The Daily Beast article paints a fairly sympathetic picture of them — two young people caught up in the notion of fame, used by a TV network and a celebrity culture all too happy to exploit their naïveté. I actually felt a little bit of pity for them. Then I did an image search for “spencer pratt heidi montag,” and I remembered, “Oh right, these people are AWFUL.” A rent-free beach house in Santa Barabara? F**K YOU. I’ll feel a tiny modicum of respect for them when they pay for a lousy apartment in a crappy neighborhood with money they earned doing construction work or busing tables, because that’s what NON-entitled assh*les do.