Stephen Colbert Is Promising Some Primetime Nudity When His (Now Bronzed) Butt Hosts The Emmys

09.16.17 5 months ago

Patriot, family man and Late Show host extraordinaire Stephen Colbert is fighting to make sure you see an appropriate amount of his ass when he takes the Emmy reins on Sunday. In fact, he’s even gotten his bum bronzed for the occasion. That’s heroism, right there.

Colbert was out doing the pre-ceremony publicity rounds (because the Emmys like promoting their TV celebration on other TV shows) and that tour included a visit to the durable morning chat show The Talk. So what can we come to expect during the broadcast? A Colbert and Trump duet of the Perfect Strangers theme isn’t in the cards, but there will be some good ol’ fashioned celebrity nudity.

“There’s nudity…and it’s me!” declared Colbert on The Talk.

Unless NCIS has been going butt-crazy or something and we haven’t noticed, airing a bum on CBS isn’t exactly as easy as pulling down your sweatpants. There are rules to be followed.

“We are in negotiations with CBS right now, because CBS has got the Emmys this year, about how much of my butt we can show. Because evidently, and I did not know this, you cannot show butt crack on broadcast television,” he shared revealing the award show magician’s secrets. “I said, “Wait a second, I don’t even get to show my butt crack after getting totally naked? Do you know how much bronzer was rubbed on my body? Do you have any idea how intimate I have known my makeup lady? We’ve worked together for 20 years, we’ve never been more intimate than this week.”

The 69th (QUIET DOWN, GRONK) Primetime Emmy Awards will air this on CBS. That should give you enough time to check out our picks for the most painful omissions on this year’s nomination slate.

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