03.10.11 7 years ago 19 Comments

Know your ABCs: Always Be Cool

It’s been a long time since a show has kicked enough ass to require a write-up of Just the Badass Parts, but holy hell did last night’s episode of “Justified” (S2E5, “Cottonmouth”) qualify — and then some. As always with JBA, I don’t get hung up on character names or plot points: I’m here strictly to celebrate the devastating ownage.

  • As I noted subtly in the headline, a man got tased in the crotch.


  • SIDE NOTE TO CROTCH-TASING: That’s his own taser being used against him. Deputy U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens doesn’t take kindly to surprise electric shocks (see video below).
  • A son sends his father to jail.
  • A reformed crook, cajoled into a robbery by three other bad guys, pulls off a brilliant double cross that ends with the bad guys blowing themselves up.
  • “It’s not your gun hand”: I didn’t think any moment could top the crotch-tasing, but then a hillbilly mother punishes her grown son by SHATTERING HIS FINGERS WITH A BALLPEEN HAMMER. Holy crap, that was metal.

Elsewhere on the Internet, other folks are raving that this was the best episode of the season and the writing was incredible and Walton Goggins deserves more credit for his quietly magnetic performance — and that’s all true. But man oh man, that ballpeen hammer. I haven’t been that disturbed by a scary white woman breaking bones since Misery.

[GIF via This Fading Magic, video via TV Squad]

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