Taylor Swift: God Will Send Tina Fey And Amy Poehler To Hell For Making Jokes About Me

Just as we were starting to like human goat impersonator Taylor Swift — thanks mainly to her duet with Nicolas Cage — she had to go and personally sentence Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to hell for daring to gently mock her from the stage at the Golden Globes.

“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people,” Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales on the subject of mean girls in general and in response to an incident at the Golden Globes, where Amy Poehler and Tina Fey mocked her scrutinized love life. “Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’” (Via)

A reminder of that devastating day

Here’s what I think happened: Taylor Swift met Amy Poehler and Will Arnett at some fancy entertainment party about a year ago. T-Swift, a huge Wristcutters: A Love Story fan, instantly fell for Arnett, so to get around his unfortunate marriage to one of the world’s two most perfect women (the other being, of course, Tina Fey), she drugged him and took revealing photos with his naked body, because she’s a demon from a Guillermo del Toro movie. Swift mailed the photos to Poehler, who then separated with Arnett, temporarily destroying the concept of “love.” Ever since, Arnett’s been trying to convince Poehler nothing happened, Poehler’s been making fun of Swift in highly public settings, and Swift’s cackling at her scheme, stopping only to drop glittery breadcrumb clues to her contemptuous relationship with Poehler in the hallowed proverbial halls of Vanity Fair.

Either that, or she is a very, very confused young woman.

UPDATE: Amy Poehler responds: “Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. ”

(Via Vanity Fair)