Ten Reality Stars Who Failed at Life

03.16.11 7 years ago 31 Comments

There have been thousands of people to appear on reality shows (although, oddly, I don’t know anyone who has), so it’s understandable that at least a few of them are going to be crazy. The nine individuals and one band listed below (none of whom were famous before appearing on a reality show, otherwise Anna Nicole Smith would have this thing WON) are not only insane, but their lives have been in disastrous disarray since appearing on TV.

#10. The Dude from “Punk’d” Who Was Married to Shannon Elizabeth

I think we can all agree that we learned a lot about ourselves from Shannon Elizabeth’s character in American Pie, Nadia (also the name of my girlfriend—coincidence, I think not). It gave all of us 12-year-old males (and females?) hope that if a beautiful woman like Elizabeth could fall for Jason Biggs, there’s a chance for us unattractive pie fu*kers out, too—and one of us unattractive pie fu*kers did get her: Joseph Rietman, who looks like the curly-haired baby of Joey Fatone and Mickey Rourke. Rietman and Ashton Kutcher teamed together to prank Elizabeth on “Punk’d” by making her believe a sex tape of Elizabeth and Rietman had been publicly released. She didn’t take it very well, and partially because of the joke, the couple split up after three years of marriage. You blew it, dude.

#9. Richard Hatch from “Survivor”

Over 50 million people watched Susan Hawk give her famous “Rat and Snake” speech before Richard “The Snake” Hatch won the first season of “Survivor” by a single vote. He took home $1 million (and arguably launched the reality show craze that continues to this day), but “forgot” to pay taxes for his winnings (plus subsequent wages he earned for co-hosting a radio show), so he was sentenced to three years in prison for tax evasion before being released in 2009. But a few days ago, he was sent back to the pokey for nine more months for still not paying taxes. His reasoning for why the government’s continues to bug him: “I don’t think you or anyone else could deny that we as homosexuals face discrimination.” If being gay means you don’t have to pay taxes, hellllllooooo Matt Smith.

#8. Trishelle Cannatella from “The Real World: Las Vegas”

This list could have been made up of nothing but former-“Real World”’ers, but Cannatella wins the challenge, so to speak, for the company she kept after leaving Sin City in 2002. Namely, Steve-O (appearing in his short-lived show “Doctor Steve-O”), Hulk Hogan (she wrestled as the Red Hot Redneck on Hogan’s “Celebrity Championship Wrestling”), and William Hung, shaking her bon-bon in the music video for “She Bangs.” A funny sidenote: she was born in Cut Off, Louisiana.

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