The ‘AHS: Freak Show’ Opening Credits Are A Stop-Motion Barrage Of Scary Naked Clowns

10.01.14 4 years ago 8 Comments

Here are the opening credits for the latest iteration of FX’s American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Freak Show, which premieres next week. They are basically a non-stop 70-second stop-motion barrage of disfigured dolls and scary-as-sh*t clowns twisting their heads around. I was ready to pull some screencaps and rank all the scariest clowns or something, but then I got to about the 0:40 mark, at which point this happened and turned my brain into sludge.

clowndick

fx

What

in

the

circus-attending

f*ck

is

that?

Is … is it a naked androgynous clown with a giant boot-wearing leg for a dick? Because that’s exactly what it looks like it is. The only reason I’m questioning it is because if that is, in fact, a naked androgynous clown with a giant boot-wearing leg for a dick, then that means I just saw a naked androgynous clown with a giant boot-wearing leg for a dick, and I will have some serious soul-searching to do. Although I suppose it’s even more troubling if I thought I saw a naked androgynous clown with a giant boot-wearing leg for a dick, and that’s not what is. Like, if I’m just out here hallucinating naked androgynous clowns with giant boot-wearing legs for dicks. Yup, that would be worse. Let’s never talk about this again.

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