Throughout this seventh and final season of Parks and Recreation, which unfortunately wraps up tonight, Michael Schur and the rest of the writers, some of whom we spoke to in our oral history, have been having fun guessing what life’s going to be like in 2017. It’s kind of like Back to the Future Part II, but instead of hoverboards, phones turn into skateboards. The Chicago Cubs also make it to the World Series in both scenarios. How many of their predictions will come true? Twenty-two months will only tell, but I’ve got a good feeling about Hitch 2: Son of a Hitch, starring Jaden Smith. Here’s the complete collection of Parks predictions for 2017.
1. HOLOGRAM PHONES.
2. The new “funny” Jason Bourne reboot stars Kevin James.
3. Shia LaBeouf is a wedding dress designer.
4. Tablets want our human skin.
5. Facebook has been replaced by Gryzzlbook.
6. The Cubs won the World Series!
7. Good news, they made a sequel to Hitch, the Jaden Smith-starring Hitch 2: Son of a Hitch.
8. THERE ARE ONLY 595 MILLION INDIANA BROWN ANTS LEFT.
9. Elton John bought and now owns Chick-fil-A.
10. There’s a Pulitzer Prize for Best Top-10 Listicle (Bloosh won two years in a row).