The Daily Sheen: Now Drug-Free!

03.03.11 7 years ago 8 Comments

That’s right, I’m still trying to keep it to one Charlie Sheen post a day.

BILL MAHER PREDICTED THIS. Well, kind of. While talking to Brad Pitt in 2009, Maher said that Sheen “could beat a nun to death on a pile of dead puppies” and America wouldn’t mind. That’s not quite true. I hated him for several years until he started speaking in tongues. [Best Week Ever]

SHEEN HAS PASSED FOUR DRUG TESTS. As I’ve noted before, sounding that crazy when you’re NOT on drugs is even more terrifying. Or maybe the tests just aren’t equipped to handle tiger blood. [WWTDD]

CHARLIE SHEEN IS LIVING A MOVIE PLOT. James Hibberd writes how Sheen’s candid honesty about celebrity is a refreshing change of pace: “Sheen’s public explosion and implosion is like some high-concept movie, like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar or Warren Beatty in Bulworth.” Oh man, how awesome would it be if Charlie Sheen ordered a hit on himself? [EW]

SHEEN EPHEMERA! GET IT WHILE IT’S HOT! Sheen and Swanson. Sheen or Gaddafi? New Yorker cartoons. And the coup de grace: Sheen has used wildly unrealistic (and creative) metaphors while talking about smoking crack and destroying his enemies, so it’s only natural that his words be put into a rap song:

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