The Dog That Won 'Britain's Got Talent' Is Writing An Autobiography

The most recent season of Britain’s Got Talent ended about two months ago with a dog named Pudsey taking home the title. You may remember this news from the informative, thought-provoking analysis I provided shortly after it was announced. Now, presumably to put to bed any notion that a dog and his owner doing a choreographed dance routine is something less than the most talented act in all of Britain, Pudsey is going to write an autobiography. PUN ME, GUARDIAN:

The Daily Mirror reports that publisher Little, Brown has signed up Pudsey the wonderdog for £350,000 for an, er, autobidography that will be out in time for Christmas. Pudsey’s owner Ashleigh will presumably bank the cash as we’re guessing Pudsey doesn’t have a bank account. If it did it would be with Bark-lays, obviously.

Oh dear God, that’s terrible — both the puns, and the fact that a dog is being paid £350,000 (OVER HALF A MILLION DOLLARS) to write a book. To put that in perspective, that is over $500,000 for every zero words the dog knows because it is a dog and it doesn’t know any words. FUN TIP: Email this story to every freelance writer and struggling novelist you know. You’ll be able to hear them scream no matter how far away they are when they open it. A real Friday afternoon treat.