In its final season, FX’s The League isn’t what it once was. Nick Kroll hasn’t been around much; Taco has transformed from a scene-stealing side character into an obnoxious presence who takes up too much screen time; the storylines have been uninspired; and Andre has been more annoying than ever.
Last night’s episode, however, redeemed everything else about the season. Dirty Randy and Rafi returned (mostly, in animated form), and they were spectacular. From beginning to end, everything about the third-to-last episode of the series, “Adios y Bienvenidos” was wrong. So very wrong.
Here were the 20 wrongest things about the episode.
1. Ruxin’s wife, Sofia, dies from complications stemming from her vaginoplasty. He finds out in a text.
2. In Ruxin’s darkest moment, Andre feels the need to remind him that — if Sofia had come to him for her vaginoplasty — none of this would have happened. “[I’m the] number one [plastic surgeon] in Chicago. I’m just saying. I got that for a reason.”
3. Ruxin uses his wife’s death to try and gain a win in fantasy. “I’m just too upset. I don’t think I can set a lineup, so I guess I’ll just take a win this week.”
4. Pete actually hesitates before agreeing to let Ruxin have a fantasy win after his wife dies, while Kevin tries to use the death of Sofia to get out of a fantasy trade.
5. Andre makes some sympathy hummus, mixing his own tears with the cumin. Rafi, however, is too upset to take advantage. “I just don’t think I can have sex with food right now. I’m so sad.”
6. Rafi does, however, jump into the shower with Ruxin so they can grieve together. Naturally, he has a “grief boner.”
7. During Ruxin’s eulogy of his wife, Kevin rejects a fantasy trade. Ruxin breaks down and yells about the rejection during the eulogy.
8. During his funeral speech, Rafi eats a pocket dog and refers to himself as Sofia’s “brother lover.” In the picture of Sofia, he fondles her breasts, because of course he does.
9. In the animated portion of the episode, Rafi enrolls Dirty Randy to recover the body of Sofia because her Papi won’t release it for the funeral. Randy assumes Rafi killed her while making love to her. “Dont’ worry, I’ve got my Robert Durst go-bag, ready to go.” Rafi explains that he didn’t kill her and cut up her body into tiny pieces like they’d planned.
10. Rafi takes a picture of his four-foot sh*t and dresses it up in scrubs.
11. Rafi spoils the end of last season of Game of Thrones WITHOUT A SPOILER WARNING.
12. The doctor who performed the vaginoplasty, we find out, is played by Aziz Ansari. He was on Puerto Rican Vicodin and horse tranquilizers, and has a fake hand. That’s why Sofia is dead.
13. In order to sneak into the morgue and steal Sofia’s body, Randy and Rafi take a bunch of drugs and pretend to be dead. Randy goes a little overboard.
14. In the morgue, Randy and Rafi talk about how sexy the dead bodies are and play with a dead guy’s floppy dick.
15. We find out that Dirty Randy is wanted for bestiality with a minor. Randy insists the cat said she was 18.
16. They blow up the morgue. Rafi gets an iron bar in his head, which he uses to beat up the cops.
17. During Sofia’s Puerto Rican funeral, Randy and Rafi engage in “Daggering,” a dance Rafi created when he was a teenager that gave him an excuse to hump his sister. In other words, Randy and Rafi hump all the funeral goers.
18. When Rafi’s dad threatens to shoot off Rafi’s dick, he unleashes his pube bees, successfully neutralizing his dad.
19. Randy and Rafi run away with Sofia’s body. She’s dressed for a wedding, because even in her death, Rafi’s dad wanted her to marry someone other than that “Jew Devil.”
20. While escaping with the body, they use it as a human shield to block the bullets from Puerto Rican cops, they use her as a ramp to walk on, and their pet chupucabra attacks her.
This is what Sofia’s body looks like when it finally returns to Ruxin’s funeral. (She still makes Rafi rock hard.)
