Weekend Preview: The Return Of The Bloodiest Show On Television

This is your first NFL-free Sunday in five months, folks. I always look forward to this day because it means I get six to nine hours of my life back, but when it arrives, I always wonder what the hell I’m going to do with myself all day Sunday. Here’s your weekend television highlights.

Spartacus: Blood and Sand (Friday, Starz 9 p.m.) — Spartacus, the bloodiest show on television, returns tonight with their third season, and if you need a refresher of previous seasons, at 8:30 their is a catch-up clip show to get you up to speed.

Portlandia (Friday, IFC 10 p.m.) — In tonight’s episode, a Feminist Bookstore holds a comedy night, and a couple has an uneasy lunch at a Vegan restaurant, and based on only that description, you can see how the entire sketches will play out. If anything, Portlandia is predictable in its comedy.

Ripper Street (BBC America, 9 p.m.) — I saw the premiere last Saturday, and people: This is a great show (so far, at least) and definitely something you should give a shot. As serial killer dramas go, this one beats The Following hands down.

Bob’s Burgers (Fox, Sunday 8:30 p.m.) — If Bob’s is going to do an Archer crossover, it’s only fair that Archer does a crossover on Bob’s, right? And then both of them should show up on Word Girl and take that know-it-all down.

Shameless (Showtime, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Can we talk about this show some more on Warming Glow? Let’s talk about this show more. It’s great, isn’t it? And it only seems to be getting better.

House of Lies (Showtimes, Sunday 10 p.m.) — Unfortunately, the second season here is not getting better. As Vince suggested on Twitter, it just tries too hard, although Kristen Bell is dangerously close to breaking her no nudity clause.

The Vanilla Ice Project (DIY, Sunday 10 p.m.) — Third season premiere … wait, what? Vanilla Ice has a reality show that’s already been on for two seasons, and I am only NOW hearing about it? Apparently, he and his crew remodel a different room in his house during each episode. Jesus, does everyone get their own reality show?

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