There Won’t Be a ‘Party Down’ Movie

Not content with writing incessant stories about the “Arrested Development” movie that still isn’t happening, bloggers are now adding a non-existent “Party Down” movie into the pointless hype cycle. This all started when Lizzy Caplan told Alan Sepinwall that she’d do a movie based on the canceled Starz comedy “for free,” which got fans excited, which got creator Rob Thomas — who talked a LOT about making a “Veronica Mars” movie that never happened — to talk about the possibility of “Party Down” movie during the Alamo Drafthouse’s recent marathon of the show:

“People are talking to us about doing a Party Down movie. We are pretty far down the deal-making process with that, so we’re hopeful that there will be a Party Down movie. Ideally, if it works out we could be shooting in television hiatus time next spring. Hopefully that deal will close, and we’ll all tweet about it when it does.”

Note the key words “hopeful” and “ideally” and “hopefully.” This reminds me of two sayings I learned in the Marines:

“Hope is not a course of action.”

“Wish in one hand and sh*t in the other. See which fills up first.”

Thomas didn’t mention anything about a script or interest from studios, which means that the “Party Down” movie that doesn’t exist isn’t even as far along as the “Arrested Development” movie that doesn’t exist. But yeah, let’s keep talking about this. I hear Rob Thomas has a unicorn he’s going to show us in 2013.