Throughout 30 Rock‘s seven year run, Tracy Jordan and Jenna Maroney starred in several movies that were supposed to be awful. But deep down, you wanted them to be real, if only to see just how bad they were. Let’s look at seven such fake movies from 30 Rock that I would love to see coming soon to a theater near me.
Honky Grandma Be Trippin’
As far as I can tell, this would be a cross between Big Momma’s House and White Chicks. The only question here is “What kind of joyless hate monster wouldn’t want this movie to exist in real life?”
Jackie Jormp-Jomp
When the producers of Jenna’s Janis Joplin biopic couldn’t get the rights to any of her songs — or even her name — they got creative, giving us the masterpiece in the above clip, which was written by Jack Donaghy. More movies should try this. When the people behind Andre 3000’s Hendrix biopic couldn’t get the rights to any of his songs, they should’ve just improvised with songs like “Violet Fog,” and “Second Stone From Mercury.” Or maybe “Physically Attractive Female With Features Akin To That Of A Fox.”
Who Dat Ninja
This poster was constantly seen in Tracy’s dressing room, and I can’t be the only one who was curious about it. The apparent combination of Beverly Hills Ninja and Black Knight would have had a pretty good shot at making the Bottom 100 on IMDB.
Sherlock Homie
First, a black Sherlock would be awesome just for how much it would piss Rush Limbaugh off. Second, I bet Tracy would have surprised us in this role, and dare I say, given Mr. Cumberbatch a bit of competition.
The Rural Juror
The movie that was going to save Jenna Maroney’s career, as she played Constance Justice, a.k.a. The Rrr Jrr… uh, I mean The Rur Jur… well, you get the idea. Anyway, they should have just made this a real movie. I mean, have you ever watched the Hallmark Channel? Couldn’t have been any worse than their crap.
Black Cop, White Cop
If Tracy Jordan were a real person, the Wayans Brothers would be unemployed in no time flat.
Hard To Watch
The greatest film role of Tracy Jordan’s career, and the one that got him one step closer to his EGOT dreams. Y’know what’s weird? You could actually see this movie happening in real life. I mean the basic idea here is that it’s Precious with Tracy playing Gabourey Sidibe’s character. I actually could picture Tracy Morgan doing a really sad, dramatic movie and doing way better than one might expect. Obviously, this idea was played for laughs on the show, but before Tracy Morgan’s accident, I wouldn’t have ruled it out of the question in the real world.
