These Morning Links Could Improve Your Life

07.12.10 8 years ago 5 Comments

This video has been around for years, but it’s just as fascinating as the day it was uploaded. If you can explain to me what is going on here, I will give you a million dollars. It is all of the money that I have in the world.

Disney turns boring children into terrible adults. Danger Guerrero wrote this. It’s a grand read, but I’d like to take this space to mention that Danger Guerrero is a dumb 5-year-old idiot baby. If you asked him what one plus one is, he’d go like, “durrr.” (That is my impression of Danger Guerrero.) [Uproxx]

Because nobody would pay to see The Credible Hulk. Ed Norton is officially not going to play The Incredible Hulk in the upcoming Avengers movie. [UGO]

Jeff Gordon is handsome, and he’s a great champion. He’s the world’s fastest Christian! The first six seasons of King of the Hill are currently on Amazon for under $10 apiece. You can also buy them together for $225. Thanks, [Amazon]!

Jimmy Jump, everybody! An enterprising young man who calls himself Jimmy Jump donned a shirt that read, “Jimmy Jump Against Racism,” then ran onto the pitch in Johannesburg and attempted to place a hat on the World Cup trophy. “Jimmy Jump” sounds like advice from an auto mechanic who wants you to electrocute yourself. [SB Nation]

Gratuitous semi-self promotion. Last night, Vincente Padilla came close-ish to a no-hitter, and it reminded me of this Dugout Brandon wrote in the long long ago. Still makes me laugh my b*tt off. [The Dugout]

Danger Guerrero sucks. Look it up! [Googlecom]

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